Showing posts with label Novelty Golf. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Novelty Golf. Show all posts

Saturday, June 5, 2010

The PMGA and Thoughts on Novelty Golf

Did anyone realize that there is a Professional Miniature Golf Association?? (The PMGA??) And that they list 21 courses in the state of Illinois?? I sure didn’t, but when I mentioned it to my brother he said, “oh, yeah, they televise their tournaments. I’ve watched them on TV!!”

Get OUT!!!

In fact, the Masters National ProMiniGolf Championship is being held this year in October - the 14th through the 17th. I think it’s in Myrtle Beach, S.C., which, by the way, has more minigolf courses than any other city in the United States. Who knew?? The total purse is $8,100. People actually win money for playing minigolf!!

OK, wait a minute. I meant to write about pro minigolf, but I just can’t get past one of the photos in our last blog entry. Do you remember the photo where I’m pushing the button on the side of the windmill to make the windmill go?? Did anyone notice that my ass appears to be enormous in that photo?? Is that really my ass?? Really?? Because I haven’t SEEN my own ass in . . . well, I’m not sure I’ve EVER seen it. I guess maybe one of my husbands photographed it once, but that was some time during the last century!!!

Does it look as if I’m wearing someone else’s ass?? Because that’s what it looks like to me!! As if I went into the cloak-room and accidentally put on the ass of a much larger, possibly 6-foot-tall person by mistake. Give me back my own ass!! The one I’m wearing in that photo doesn’t even look as if it belongs to me!!

To say that I am dismayed by the size of my own ass is an understatement the size of Canada. Sheesh. AND, I’m weighing less, ever since I gave up drinking in January, so how can I be wearing this ass?? Seriously, is my fat getting fluffier?? Does anyone know about this?? Does our fat continue to become fluffier and fluffier every year so that no matter how much weight we lose, we continue to expand?

You know, if I could wear some sort of compression suit I’d probably look alright. Or, wait!! You know, I say I’m getting larger, but I measure my size by which pair of jeans I can put on. Perhaps ONLY my ass is getting larger and the rest of me is SHRINKING!!!! Man, if this continues . . . well, I’d better start kind of scooching my ass into corners so that it doesn’t knock someone over or something!! I hate the idea of being an ass-danger to others!!

OK, back to the minigolf. Sorry.

The official world-record best score on 18 holes of minigolf is . . . 18!!! Seriously!!! Of course, this record has only been recorded on Eternit Courses. Eternit Courses have a cement-fiber putting surface and fiberglass obstacles. They are the standard in World Minigolfsport Federation championships. There are only 25 approved Eternit holes, so you just pick the 18 you like and make a golf course out of them. Not very creative, if you ask me.

So, let’s forget about the weird World Minigolfsport Federation. What appeals to me is the minigolf of my childhood, where the dinosaur that’s been thrown away from the Sinclair station can end his career plopped down next to a Frankenstein with Star Wars action figures inside.

I love that the scale of a minigolf course is small enough that its creator can actually realize his or her vision. I love that there are a lot of golf courses still in existence that were designed by a single crazed individual - not a corporation. I think Minigolf may be one of the last places where we honor the whimsical expression of an individual - and don’t hold it up to comparison with a movie image, or some more high-budget endeavor.

Minigolf is a place where we can drop our rush to judgement, and enjoy the magic of someone else’s imagination - without it having to make sense. It doesn’t matter that the home-made plaster frog looks a little more like a taxi cab than a frog. Technical perfection is not what minigolf is about. How wonderful is that?

In our world where athletes are doping themselves to death because the idea of achieving physical perfection has been pushed to such extreme limits, what a relief that there remains a place where adults can go and briefly touch their own childhood imaginations.

All illustrations ©2010 Michael James

In our next episode: Skokie Sports Park Adventure Golf

Monday, May 31, 2010

Novelty Golf



NOTE: You can click on the embedded photos to make them larger.

Somewhere we read that there are 68 miniature golf courses in the state of Illinois. Doesn’t this seem like a challenge we should somehow meet?? (Actually, we read that on golflink.com!!)

My nephew, Aaron, was kind enough to agree to try to conquer all 68 courses with me. Can we get them all covered in one summer?? And . . . are there truly ONLY 68 courses in the state of Illinois?? Can that BE??? We’ll find out!!

Today we went to our first golf course of the supposed 68 course challenge. It was Novelty Golf at 3650 W. Devon in Chicago. It was part of a gigantic complex of other games - batting cages, arcade, and the Bunny Hutch (more about that later). They’ve recently celebrated their 60th anniversary.

But first - look at this cool car we saw on the way home from the Metra!! I LOVE this car!!!

Anyway, Novelty Golf has 36 holes - as two separate courses!! If you play 18 and then want to go for another 18 - the second 18 holes are half price. Wahoo!! The courses are sort of intertwined!! Which is really nice - when you look around, you can’t tell which holes are going to be on the course you’re playing and which holes are on the other course!!


And, they have hippo trash cans - HA!!!!!



Safety Rule number one at the Novelty Golf was interesting: “never raise club above waist”. The first Miniature Golf course (called “the Himalayas," and part of the St. Andrew’s course in Scotland) was created in 1867. In 1867 women weren’t supposed to raise the clubs above their shoulders. The golf swing was apparently too violent to be considered lady-like. So, “the Himalayas” was created to give women a golfing outlet. Many other early courses were kind of like putting greens amongst formal gardens. Anyway, Safety Rule number one, aside from keeping kids from cracking each others’ heads open, reminded us of that!

Hole one charmed us right away - it was a windmill with a big sign telling us to push the button on the side.
You had to push the button to make the windmill rotate!! In fact, a bunch of the holes on this course were kind of do-it-yourself electrics. Most of them had a foot switch that made the hole’s moving parts go. It took us awhile to realize that ONE person should stand on the foot switch while the OTHER person putts!!! Sheesh!!! For awhile we were contorting ourselves, trying to stand on the foot switch and lean out to reach our ball!!!

We liked the metal tees. There was a big dent in each of them for your ball. Sometimes it seemed to mess up our swings, though. We kept kind of bouncing our clubs off the ground. But, whatever.

In general, this was a hard course, but a really creative course. There were a lot of holes where we discussed strategy before we teed off. Many times there were multiple ways to get to the hole - often through underground tubes. We got stuck in a few of these tubes. But, by throwing another ball really hard down the tube we were usually able to extricate ourselves. (Did we mention this is an old course?) Due to these pathways, there’s really no wrong way to play these courses, but it’s also REALLY difficult to ever get a hole in one. It’s not like those courses that have got a couple of pretty much automatic hole-in-one holes.

There was the requisite castle hole (with a drawbridge that went up and down) the standard windmill hole (of course, you had to push the button to make it go), a couple of water hazard holes, and they had a couple holes that you had to putt uphill, and the hole was on the incline (there was no flat green).

There was a lighthouse hole where the doors opened and slammed shut when you stepped on the switch. You know, as we played, we thought, if you had kids, you could let them play WITHOUT stepping on the switch and making the obstacles go. The obstacles could be like the grown-up handicap!!


Look at this shot of the “Snoopy” hole. I thought he needed some soda.

There was a roulette wheel hole - isn’t that interesting?? Depending on whether you hit it into a black or a red compartment it came out on a different side. Or, in our case, our balls got stuck. Hmmm . . .





There was a mermaid hole - she seemed to be swimming with some sharks. The end of course #1 was the Sears Tower!! OK, I guess that would be the Willis Tower now - but, when this course was built it was the Sears!! Actually, the Sears Tower was completed in 1974, and Novelty Golf says they’re celebrating their 60th anniversary this year. So . . . hmm . . . well, I’m imagining this gigantic complex was not built all at once, but evolved!!

We went to the Bunny Hutch (just a few steps away) in between 18s.
We ordered what was called “real fruit smoothies”. I didn’t watch them make the banana smoothie, but I DID watch them make the strawberry smoothie. It looked to me as if they just filled a blender with orange soda and ice, put in about 3 frozen strawberries, then some red syrup, and pressed “puree”. Whoa. OK, I GUESS it’s a “real fruit smoothie” but - Sheesh!!!! I have to say, they gave us each an “extra” cup of smoothie that was almost as big as the cup we paid for. Which allowed us to MIX our smoothies for an even goofier taste sensation!!

Anyway, after the Bunny Hutch we went on to course #2. There was a skull - who looked as if he had eaten a human. That was a good hole. A tomb-stone hole. And then there was the mysterious camera hole. Aaron said, “oh, look, a polaroid camera!” I thought, how do you get a camera out of that?? It looks like an iPod next to a bicycle tire!! Anyway, we teed off, Aaron’s ball went into the camera . . . and vanished. I figured I’d just go ahead and tee off, and probably I’d knock him loose. But my ball came out, and there was still no sign of his. Finally we went back to the front desk and told the girl working there that Aaron’s ball had vanished. She said, “was it the camera hole?” (So, I guess it WAS a camera!!) And we said yes, and she said, “yeah, they always get stuck there.” She grabbed a pitcher, dipped it full of water in a decorative fountain, and we headed for the “camera”. Sadly, she didn’t get to use the water. Man. I was dying to see how that was going to work. But, instead, when she unlocked the back of the camera Aaron’s ball was right there. RATS!!! I wanted to see what she’d do with that water!!!





Oh, and speaking of RETRO holes - there was also a rotary pay-phone hole!! In a few years perhaps no one will know what it is.

There was a Washington Monument hole, a really WEIRD-looking frog next to a magic tree, and then a Frankenstein hole with Star Wars action figures inside!!! That was pretty great!!



When we returned our clubs, the girl at the desk told us that the winner gets a free ice cream cone at the Bunny Hutch, so we went right back there!! We got a swirl cone, but I don’t think even the ice cream was real!! Seriously, I don’t think there was one speck of dairy in that cone!! I mean, it was sweet and freezy and all, but it didn’t seem to be ice cream. And the other thing was: we had to surrender our score card in order to get the free ice cream cone!! I’m not a big souvenir person, but I would’ve liked to have had my ice cream AND my score card, too!!! SHEESH!!!

Overall, we LOVED this course. This is a course you could play a gazillion times and still be arguing over strategy, or trying out new stuff. It was creative and original. I wondered if the owners had designed it themselves. But it was a difficult course - both 18s were par 50. It’s not great for kids who need to get holes in one.

Well, wonder if that counted as one course or two?? Out of our 68?? I think we’d better do a little more research on what exactly the 68 are!!

Statistics:

Course 1: Par 50
Aaron: 70
Peg: 61

Course 2: Par 50
Aaron: 56
Peg: 53

Difficulty (1-6 putts, 6 putts being the most difficult): 5 putts
Rating (1-10 balls, 10 being the most wondrous): 8 balls