River View Miniature Golf

First let me say  that this course is NOT exactly where their web-site says it is!!  That’s kind of aggravating!!  It says on their web-site that the course is in Pottawatomie Park in St. Charles, Illinois, which it is.  But then they say parking is “2 blocks north of Main Street on 2nd Avenue”.  Which it clearly is NOT!!  Man!!  I got to that intersection, and started heading north on 2nd Avenue, and drove, 6 or 8 blocks, it seemed like!!  Finally, there was an entrance to the park.  I went in - I could see the swimming pool, the tennis courts, the riverboats, the regulation golf, but not the minigolf!!  Finally I went to the swimming pool and asked at the desk where the minigolf was.  They were very friendly.  In case you go there:  it’s SOUTH of the main parking lot right on the Fox River.

 
HA!!!  I liked the idea that we could rent “food canoes” if we wanted to!!  HA!!  Would this be canoes made out of food??  Or ones that take you TO food???

  

This course has a special pretty much every day of the week, and the day we went was “grandparents’ day”.  Bring one grandparent, and one person in your party gets in free.  This was a park-district course, so it was pretty cheap to begin with:  $5.00 per person for 18 holes.  Anyway, we brought Dad (who is Aaron’s grandfather) and not only did he TREAT us to a round of golf, but he got in free!!  Wahooo!!!

 
This course was ANCIENT astroturf.  The turf was so ancient that the greens were really fast.  And really lumpy!!  They had these sort of rubberized tee areas.  And, look, a lovely waterfall in a NATURAL color (in the top-right of the photo)!!

  

The greens were really fast, and then the boundaries of the holes were all these very low bricks.  These things meant that we bounced completely OUT of the putting area and all across the course A LOT!!  (This accounts for Aaron’s terrible score!).  Seriously, I’ve never played a course where we spent so much time running everywhere retrieving our balls!!

Oh, look at this lovely water wheel!!

  

This hole had a little tunnel under a fake rock.  Dad putted just perfectly - if the object was to lodge your ball exactly underneath the rock!!!  He had to sort of pool-cue it back out!!!  Aaron and Barb both got bounced back by the rock!!

 
 

Dad says to be sure to say that there weren’t enough benches for old people on this course!!  They had one about every 6th hole.

 
There was a windmill hole - but the windmill was TINY!!!  (Aaron says: "Note my perfect Fairway Solitaire pose!" Fairway Solitaire is a golf-themed solitaire game made by Grey Alien and Big Fish Games.)

 
Also, I would say MORE than 50% of these holes had a choice of cups to putt into!!!  Isn’t that odd??  

  

You know, the greens were so fast, and so lumpy, and the obstacles were so many, that often rather than strategizing our tee shots, we would just whack the ball and see what happened.  In other words, it was too much - whatever we did, the outcome seemed to be random.  Once you got your lucky or unlucky tee shot, then you could strategize.  I didn’t like that your tee shot had just too many variables to even have fun strategizing.

LOOK!!  Here was a ball that had bounced out - and no one had found it!!!  We asked another party on the course - the man was putting a walnut - if this was their lost ball.  But they said it wasn’t.  Wonder why he was putting a walnut, then????

 
But, this course was right on the banks of the Fox River, and it was gorgeous.  It could’ve been like that course we played in Sugar Grove where every hole was exactly the same and we would’ve loved it, on account of the river was beautiful and breezy!

 
Doesn’t this log look like a pig snout????  

  

OK, Aaron’s ball bounced out, and we spent FOREVER searching for it in this tall grass!!!  Something you expect from regulation golf, but NOT from minigolf!!!

 
Hole 18 was a lighthouse - and an automatic ball-return. 

  

And, look!!  A play-again special:  half-price on the second 18!!  That’s $2.50, which is an amazing bargain!!

  

Statistics:

Par:  42
Aaron:  64
Barb:  50
Dad/Grandpa:  54
Peg:  56

Difficulty (1-6 putts, 6 putts being the most difficult):  5 putts
Rating (1-10 balls, 10 being the most wondrous):  6.5 balls.   Aaron was aggravated by this course because it was fast and lumpy.  Barb loved it because it was beautiful.  Peg didn’t appreciate the randomness of the tee shots, but loved the river.  Dad wanted more benches.

Coming soon:  Big Apple Minigolf, Kearney, Nebraska

Wii KidzSports Crazy Golf

(by Bold Games, developed by Data Design Interactive)

Today we decided to stay indoors and try out a Wii minigolf game.  My sister (Aaron’s mom) picked up Wii KidzSports Crazy Golf for something like $15.00.  So the three of us settled down to play the first 18 holes available on that game.

It’s a game that has four 18 holes courses:  Waicoco Islands (which is unlocked at the start of the game) Teekee Moon, Jungle Temple, and Volcano Island.

Barb and Aaron had already created their avatars when they tried this game out with Paul earlier in the week.  So, I had to create my avatar.  First, let me say, the game wouldn’t let me have blue hair!!!  What’s up with that?!?!  I ALWAYS have a blue-haired avatar!!  PLUS, it wouldn’t let me name myself Flester Dreadfulwater, which is my regular avatar name.  OK, casual games often won’t let me use such a long name, but THIS game wouldn’t even let me use Flester!!!  I had to be FlestR!!!  Sheesh!!

Hole number one played Guantanamera as its background music.  I love that song.   It means “girl from Guantanamo”.   I just learned that.  I had thought the lyrics were written by Pablo Neruda, but I am an idiot, the song was written by Jose Fernandez Diaz, who is, of course Cuban.  Pablo Neruda is Chileno, and that’s not even his real name, but a pen name he chose to honor a Czech poet, Jan Neruda!!!  What a lot I’ve learned ALREADY!!!

ANYWAY, our avatars all wiggled their butts in a very cute fashion, and then hit the ball in a totally random manner.  You know, this game tries to get you to use the Wii-mote just like you’d use a golf club, but the sensors on the Wii-mote aren’t really accurate enough to do that.  So, we’d either putt our balls about a foot, or we’d over-shoot the hole entirely and end up in the ocean.  By the time we finished with hole number one I was so mad at the stupid game I didn’t want to play anymore!!!

Hole number 2 played Mary Ann as our background music.  I like that song OK.  Not as much as Guantanamera, though.  In this hole you have to putt over a curvy bridge.  Once you accomplish that, you’re spat out onto a green that is pretty much a funnel.  So you’d THINK this would be a relatively easy hole.  But, mostly I ended up in the ocean.  And let me just say right now:  ALL golf courses should have a 6 stroke maximum.  If you can’t get it in the hole in 6 strokes, just pick up your ball.  This hateful game had a NINE stroke maximum, which was just TORTURE!!!

OH!!  Also, this is a game for kids, right??  If you got over par - your avatar HIT HIMSELF IN THE HEAD WITH HIS GOLF CLUB!!!!!  What kind of thing is that to do in a kids game?????   OMIGOD!!!! 

Hole number 3 was accompanied by a mystery soprano sax song.  This was a hole where you just had to putt straight up a hill.  I never made it up the hill.  Aaron, however, parred this hole, so I had him FINISH the hole for me.

And let me also say at this point, don’t drink liquids while playing this game.  The sound effects of the first course are all surfy - but their surf sounds like running water, which just made me need to pee.  Sheesh!!!

Hole 4 was back to Guantanamera.  Hmm.  You know, I like that song, but I don’t really want to hear ANY song over and over and over.  This hole was a straight shot under a bunch of croquet hoops.   Knowing that golf began with a wooden ball and a wooden club, I just checked to see if golf and croquet were related, but apparently not at all!!

On hole number 4 we discovered that if you birdie a hole, your avatar does a little birdie dance that resembles a flamingo imitation.  Needless to say, it was not MY avatar who did the birdie dance!!!

Hole 5 played Mary Ann again.  In fact, those three songs (it turned out) were the only songs this game knows, and it shamelessly cycles through them.  ‘Til you’re ready to shoot the television.  I recommend turning off the sound and turning on your iPod.  Sheesh.

It was on hole number 5 that I realized that there IS no good luck in this game, only bad luck.  It was also on hole number 5 that I realized I could easily con EITHER my sister OR Aaron to play the entire hole for me.  Whew!!!  I HATE this game!!!

Hole 6 - I got a hole-in-one!!  OK, I take it back, what I said about no good luck!!!  The hole-in-one dance is no fancier than the birdie dance.  Man, that’s a mistake.  I looked at the credits of this game:  there were NO women involved in the design of this game.  Well, THAT’s a problem right there!!!

Hole 7 - at this point, both Barb and Aaron told me I needed to mention that there is an inordinately LONG load time in between holes.  This was the hole in which my putter suddenly acted like a driver and lofted my ball up into the air, where it smacked into some sort of bridge, bounced backwards, and completely off the edge of the video game world.  Sheesh.

Hole 8 - this hole was TOO aggravating to play.  This game is mind-numbingly stupid.

Hole 9 - THANK GOD this is almost over!!!  This hole had a loop-de-loop, which was nice.  But, even though we’d intended to play 18 holes, we couldn’t bear to play any more.  I don’t know HOW you unlock the other 3 sets of 18 holes.  We HAD to quit.

Statistics:

Par:  31
Aaron:  37
Barb:  41
Peg:  46

Difficulty (1-6 putts, 6 putts being the most difficult):  7 putts
Rating (1-10 balls, 10 being the most wondrous):  Aaron said to give it 2 balls, but I want to give it a NEGATIVE number.  Seriously!!  This game SUCKED!!!!

Coming soon:  Thoughts on Dimples

Congo River Adventure Golf: Falls Course

The second 18 holes at Congo River Adventure was the Falls Course.

They had the same “scavenger hunt” thing going on - once again we loved it, and THIS time we found all the objects!!!  (Actually, we never found the spear, but the girl at the front desk gave us both the prize anyway!!  If you find all the hunt items, you get a yellow bouncy ball with a smiley face on it!!)

The over-under hole.

  
You know, this course was pretty full when we played it.  We started a little after 10:00 a.m., and finished at 11:50!!  Normally we play faster than that, but we were looking for the scavenger hunt items, plus there were people in front of us.

I love water falls.  Even if they ARE blue!!   A blue not found in nature!!

 
And I love the bridges.  And I love stepping over water!!

 
These holes - they actually are a lot like regulation golf.  Complete with really rolling terrain.

 
Oh, look at the ridges in this one!!

 
Ha!!  No Con Go!!!  It makes me think of the Star Trek episode “No Kill I”.  Remember that one??  My brother Dave just mentioned it last week.

 
You know, the amazing thing about this course - actually, both halves of this course - was that our balls NEVER bounced out of bounds.  Seriously, there were some pretty steep down-hills, and I often worried that our balls would be going so fast by the time they got to the bottom that they’d just bounce off the rocks and keep going.  But they never did.  Marvelous engineering, I’m thinking.  The same kind of engineering that made these holes all so friendly.

 
And look at these lovely picnic tables at the end - still in the Congo River theme.

 
I ought to mention that we both really enjoyed the music on this course.  It was REALLY diverse:  we heard Stevie Wonder, an Israeli folk song, some 50s doowop, some contemporary world music.  I don’t know if there was a central player that shuffled through that vast an array of music, or whether different holes had different genres.  But we really liked it!!

There was a game arcade at the end - with a Family Guy pinball machine.

 
Statistics:

Par:  40
Aaron:  46
Peg:  49

Difficulty (1-6 putts, 6 putts being the most difficult):  3.5 putts  (but higher for children on account of the really long fairways and steep up-hill holes).

Rating (1-10 balls, 10 being the most wondrous):  7.5 balls according to Aaron.  8 balls according to Peg.  Aaron liked how there were a lot of down-hills.  Peg liked the friendly, friendly cups!!

Coming next:  Wii Golf!!!

Congo River Adventure Golf: Rapids Course

Congo River Adventure Golf
1325 N. Barrington Road, Hoffman Estates, Illinois

First:  YAY!!!  Aaron is back from Dollywood!!  Wahooo!!!!

Dang!!  Look at this sign!!  Do you think they have a lot of broken putters???  Sheesh!!!

  
Hey, look at these low scores!!  We did WAY better than that!!  We should’ve told them our scores!!!  RATS!!!!

 
Practice green.  Gotta love that.

  
OK, so, at Congo River Adventure, there are two 18 hole courses - which you can play in combination for $11.95.  Not bad.

We played Congo River Rapids first.

  
One of my favorite things about this course was the “scavenger hunt”.  They had a bunch of decorations you were supposed to look for throughout the course.   If you saw one, you were supposed to write down what hole you were playing when you saw it.   If you saw all six of the hunt items, they’d give you a prize: a smiley-face superball!

Man, this was BRILLIANT!!  It meant that if you were waiting behind a slow party, you could spend your time looking for the hunt items.  It meant that kids who were waiting for others in their party to putt could also be looking for the hunt items.  It was just a BRILLIANT idea!!! (Pictured below is the "mask" item. It's mounted on the shack.)

 
Look how lovely this course is!!  Although, once again with the blue water!!

  
There were lots of bridges you got to walk on - I loved that.

  
You know, in general this course had long, interesting “fairways” that you really wanted to think about your strategy, and then they had exceptionally friendly cups.  Seriously, the cups were often just slightly depressed, compared to the surrounding green, so that if you were sort of headed in the direction of the hole, you’d tend to roll in.  This made you feel like a really super-competent golfer (and would be GREAT for kids).

 
There were a lot of holes where you putted into a hole on the top tier and then were spat out below - none of these gave automatic holes-in-one, though.
 
Look at this guy drooling blue water!!!

  
We got to this hole, and thought it was a hole with a couple of REALLY harsh gaps, and then we realized that the hole was set up so that once you were in the water you’d be automatically routed onto the green below.  I have to say, I love a hole where you get to putt into the water!!

 

See this cork-screw hole??  There were a lot of holes like this, where, really, you just teed off in the general direction that seemed logical, and then you got spat out on a very friendly green.

 
Wait a minute!!  What happened to this guy??  Is he a guy who’s dead and sunk into the sand??  Or is he just a sleeping stick figure??  And why does he make me want to sing “Particle Man”??

 
Statistics:

Par:  41
Aaron:  53
Peg:  46

Difficulty (1-6 putts, 6 putts being the most difficult):  3.5 putts  (but higher for children on account of the really long fairways and steep up-hill holes).

Rating (1-10 balls, 10 being the most wondrous):  7.5 balls according to Aaron.  8 balls according to Peg.  Aaron liked how there were a lot of downhill putts.  Peg liked the friendly, friendly cups!!

Coming next:  Congo River Falls

Professor Hacker's Lost Treasure Golf

Note: For this entry, the BLACK text is Aaron speaking. The PINK text is Aunt Peg speaking. Also, as usual, you can click on the embedded photos to enlarge them.

Professor Hacker’s Lost Treasure Golf - The Diamond Course

Dear Aunt Peg,

Here we are in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee.
 

REALLY??  Aaron’s family went to DOLLYWOOD????  You know, I was all ready to scoff about Dollywood, and then I did some quick on-line research and discovered that Dolly Parton invested in this theme park in order to bring jobs to her community.   In fact, Dollywood, with 3,000 employees, is the largest employer in that community.    So, now I’m feeling like an idiot, because it turns out she’s just trying to bring home some jobs!!  Dollywood is celebrating its 25th year as Dollywood, but it’s been a theme park under a bunch of different names since it was built in 1961.   It was “Rebel Railroad” and “Goldrush Junction” and then “Silver Dollar City” before she bought in.

There are so many minigolf courses here - it’s really amazing.  In the amount of time we are staying here we don’t have time to play nearly all of them!!  There’s Firehouse Golf, Tom Sawyer’s Minigolf, a creepy looking Circus Golf, and quite a few others.
 

Why are there so many minigolf courses there??  Is it just on account of this is an entertainment mecca??

The course we played today was Professor Hacker’s Lost Treasure Golf.  In this course you follow the adventures of Professor Hacker as he goes on his 1932 and 1934 treasure hunt expeditions.   Professor Hacker looks remarkably like Henry Hatsworth, by the way.

Who on earth is Henry Hatsworth??  Turns out it’s a DS game.  Who knew??

The first thing you notice about this course is that it has GREAT scenery.  They invested a LOT of money in the setting of this course.  They have a pirate ship, an airplane, and a lot of caves.  You PLAY through the caves!!

Good thing you play through those caves - I’m thinking Tennessee in the summer is hot and sweltering.

They give you wooden signs, in order to get you in the mood - and to properly follow Professor Hacker’s adventure.  These ranged from background information (Look!!   He’s from the University of Chicago!) to information about what part of his expedition you’re recreating.

I especially like the Denver College of SOIL.

They had cute little plastic clubs for small children - even though this course was not great for kids - the course was pretty unforgiving.  And with a low par, that’s discouraging for everyone!

You can pose with Professor Hacker - they’ll take your photo and sell it to you.  

To get to the beginning of the course you ride a mining train to the top of the hill.  Unfortunately, you had to wait for the train, and then the train ride wasn’t very scenic.  For the second course we just took the stairs to the top of the course, which took about 30 seconds.

    
Oh, but I LOVE trains!!  I ride the Amtrak and the Metra and the el whenever I can!!  I bet I would’ve LOVED the funny mining train - I wouldn’t have minded waiting!

They DID have the type of putters that we like - the type with the line on the top.  And they had the short variety of astro-turf.  So, the course played true.  However, the course was unforgiving.  Many of the holes were anthills.  Even the holes that weren’t actually anthills had lips, so that even if you got close to the holes you’d never roll in.  I had a lot of 4s and 5s on this course.

    
Aaron rarely gets 4s and 5s.  This must’ve been REALLY frustrating!!!

Again, the scenery was great.

   
OK, is that waterfall blue???  Do ALL minigolf courses have to put that blue stuff in their water??  What’s up with that??  I’m going to have to look into it!!

Their weird hole-in-one scheme on the “mystery hole” was interesting.  They assigned a random hole each day to be the “mystery hole” and if you happened to get a hole-in-one on that hole you’d win a free game.  You couldn’t find out ‘til you’d finished your game which hole it was.  But, since we never got a hole-in-one on ANY hole, it was a moot point.

   
Interesting!!

We started on the Diamond Course.  They had really handsome signs telling which hole you were on.  Although, it was unclear where you were supposed to put your ball.

    
I actually prefer NOT to be told where to put my ball!!  I LIKE choosing my spot!!!  I think it’s part of the fun and interesting strategy!!  Plus, I’m not such a good rule-follower.

The holes were mostly flat, linear and uninteresting.  It was the scenery that was the interesting part of this course. For instance, this is the old palace dungeon.  

  
My brother Dave was here visiting while Aaron was off in Dollywood.  When Dave saw the photo of this cave he said, “what’s the door for?”  YEAH!!!  What IS it for???  Are there prisoners in there????

  

Here are some of the holes we saw on the course, including one that went under a bridge.

 

Wow, no kidding!!  There ARE a lot of straight-forward, uninteresting holes!!

Look!  A Mayan temple!

Now, if only you putted your ball into an elevator that took you to the top of that temple, and then you could watch your ball bounce back down the side and roll into a trough . . .

This was an interesting hole - two different putting options.

  
See, these were the metal cups that were BALL-REPELLANT!!!!

  
This hole allowed you to putt off onto the sidewalk.

???????    !!!!!!

LOOK!!  It’s Mom sitting on the box of dynamite!!

  
That’s BARB to me!!!

This hole you played through the pirate ship.  But it was still boring.

  

There was a live duck sitting on a part of the scenery.

    
I love live ducks!!  This one is particularly handsome.  I’d even marry him.  If I wasn’t completely DONE with getting married!!

Statistics:

Par:  40
Aaron:  53
Barb:  52
Paul:  48

Difficulty (1-6 putts, 6 putts being the most difficult):  4.5 putts
Rating (1-10 balls, 10 being the most wondrous):  5 balls - looks great, but it’s frustrating.  PLUS, even though they have those little plastic putters - it’s NOT kid-friendly!!

Professor Hacker’s Lost Treasure Golf - The Gold Course

Look at the lovely Gold hole markers.

  
OH, it looks like they’ve played after dinner!!  Doesn’t it look as if it’s getting dark out??

The first hole of the Gold Course is inside a cave.
 

Oh.

Here’s a good over-view of the course.

  
In this hole, you putt up - it goes into whatever hole it feels like going into, and then comes out one of three different exit pipes. 

 

 

Ah, here are all the lost balls.  I’ve put red squares around for easier viewing, as there were a myriad of them.  We never lost ours, so I’m not sure whether or not the front desk handed out free replacements.

  
This hole had a mean gap.  Not a great idea on such a non-kid-friendly course with ball-repellant cups!!  My ball went flying off into the landscaping.  Rats!

  
This hole was really steep.  You really needed someone at the bottom of the hill when you putted in order to catch your ball before it flew out into the lake.

 YIPES!!!

Statistics:

Par:  40
Aaron:  54
Barb:  54
Paul:  54

Difficulty (1-6 putts, 6 putts being the most difficult):  4.5 putts
Rating (1-10 balls, 10 being the most wondrous):  5 balls - looks great, but it’s frustrating.  PLUS, even though they have those little plastic putters - it’s NOT kid-friendly!!

Coming next:  Hillbilly Golf!

Henry Hatsworth in the Puzzling Adventure © Nintendo and EA.