Hillbilly Golf

 

NOTE: You can click on the embedded photos to make them larger.

Another Note: For this entry, the BLACK text is Aaron speaking. The PINK text is Aunt Peg speaking. Also, as usual, you can click on the embedded photos to enlarge them.

 

Dear Aunt Peg:

This course, in Gatlinburg, Tennessee, advertised itself as “The World’s Most Unusual Miniature golf course”.  I feel it failed to live up to that description - to me it seemed quite bland.  At one point during the course, due to the heat and the surroundings, I felt that they could’ve re-named this course “rainforest golf” and you wouldn’t even notice a difference - save for the farming equipment on the course.

 
There were two notable things about this course.  One is that it’s very expensive.  Which is why we only played one course out of their two.

 The second thing to note is that this course is on the side of the mountain - so you have to take a lift up to the top of the course. 

 

They had your favorite metal putters, though.  I don’t prefer them.  I think they’re unwieldy.  They’re too heavy on the club end.

 

 
The lift takes you up backwards!  Dad was NOT pleased about that!

   

I think that looks delightful!!

They actually took you up pretty slowly. 
 

Yeah, but Aaron was comparing that slow trip to a Dollywood roller coaster, I happen to know!

It was a good thing this course was shady, because when we played it was 95 degrees.  And buggy.
 

I’m intrigued by the rule that says that putters are for hitting the ball only.  Like you’ve got to say that????

 
The holes were interesting.  They were astro-turf, but, because the course was on the side of a mountain, all the holes had side-rails that were completely dead - when you hit them your ball came to a complete halt.  So you couldn’t do anything with bank shots or anything.

 
The cups were normal - what a relief after Professor Hacker!!

The first really interesting hole was this one where you had to putt through a covered wagon.  It was really more “farming golf” if you ask me.

   

Oh, man, if your ball comes to a stop inside the covered wagon, do you crawl in there and putt from inside it??  Like at Skokie Sports Park where we had to putt from under the elephant??

The first time I hit my ball in here it came right back because it’s WAY shallower than it looks.  Once you get it in the hole in the cave it emerges on this lower tier.

    

OMIGOD!!!  Is this a MOONSHINER’s shack????  I hope so!!

They pretty much just littered the course with farm equipment - I don’t see how it fit the HillBilly theme at all.

   

But, what ARE HillBillies, anyway??  I mean, really??  The only thing we know about them is what we saw on The Beverly HillBillies.  So, they eat opossums.  That’s all I know!!  And then, Granny dies and founds a scholarship for excellent actors. 

And what about this sign saying to watch children at all times!!  Watch YOUR children??  Watch any children in your line of sight??  What’s going on here??  Are there DANCING children????

 
This hole reminded me of Donkey Kong.

 
 

MAN!!  Me, too!!  I LOVED that game!!  I played that game with my brother Dave!!  He’s so generous!!!  I SUCK as a player, and he carried us through - I think the whole Donkey Kong franchise!!

Then for the ball-return hole, they had you putt into the outhouse.

 

OK, that ball-return would’ve raised the entire course one point in the ratings had I been handing out the points.  HA!!!  That is hilarious.  More outhouse golf, that’s what we all need.  It reminds of of that two-story outhouse that is such a tourist attraction in Mattoon, Illinois!!

Statistics:

Par:  41
Aaron:  46
Barb:  45
Paul:  47

Difficulty (1-6 putts, 6 putts being the most difficult):  3 putts
Rating (1-10 balls, 10 being the most wondrous):  6 balls.  The course was fine, and the scenery was certainly nice.  But the course was over-priced, and it was neither especially entertaining or unusual.

Coming soon:  Ripley’s Old MacDonald’s Farm Golf . . . or, more minigolf history!!